Unit 11 - Scriptwriting

1. Have needs/ expectations been met for the client brief and target audience?

For this unit we had to create a script based on, and as part as, the planning for my short film titled, 'One By One'. The short film depicts five YouTuber vloggers who decide to explore an abandoned factory. We had to look into previous scripts from a similar genre and those that are for different types of viewing. For example Tv, Radio and Film. My short film was a horror based film, therefore I had to look into scripts of a similar genre, for example the Max Payne script, which has elements of horror within it. I also had to look at who my target audience for the script would be. Due to my script being about young YouTbers who venture into an abandoned factory, I targeted the script towards people who generally fall under the classical youtube vlogger viewer. These are generally aged between fifteen to twenty years of age. However due to some of the scenes within this script, where Elle gets hung from the ceiling, the age rating of it would have to be only for over eighteens, as their is graphic nature. As the BBFC quoted 'Risk harm to individuals' which within our script we show write about one of the characters being hung. We also targeted this audience by using slang that is common within these age groups. For example "Reyt", this can also target people of a northern demographic as it is most commonly heard around the Yorkshire area. We aimed to target people who commonly watch youtube and can relate to the style of the script which is pastiching a YouTube video. The target audience would most likely be classed in B or C1. This is as they are most likely students with a lower income but enough to see the short film. They would usually be able to afford a device that is able to watch YouTube videos on, such as a mobile phone or computer. Therefore I class them in B and C1 as they would need to be able to afford these devices. Additionally they In addition our scripts plot is not complex and has an easy narrative to follow. Unlike the "How To Train Your Dragon" script that I looked at for my LO1, which has a detailed script that without a key is hard to understand the abbreviations above characters and for camerawork. This script is incredibly detailed and has a large amount of dialogue in it.

2. What were the client’s likes and dislikes.

We were given plenty of positive feedback from TheWritersGroup. For example they liked the bond between the actors. This also helps as most of them are friends in real life. They also liked that the mixture of genders both get on and that there is not a divide. Moreover they said that the cross cutting and action matching between different locations. This is as it helps create tension, especially when the group split up, as the audience can see what’s going on, on both sides.

TheWritersGroup game me plenty of feedback based on my script. Some improvements were given during the meeting with one of them. For example She said that I should have more use of non-diegetic sound written within the script, especially at enigma stages. This would help express the emotion of the characters connoting that they are scared. Additionally when added into the script can help make decisions when editing and give an impression of what the scene tension would be like. This tension may be seen when Georgia gets stuck behind the door and disappears. This can also help build up tension and make them feel more tense as it builds up. Another improvement was to use more intonation for the actors speech. Using examples of parenthetical during moments of tension such as when they are looking for Elle as she gets lost. This would help the actors understand how they need to express their dialogue. For example at this point in the script they would sound worried and scared as one of the members has gone missing. Additionally this can help them know how they need to act their line and what body language they would need to convey. Finally the woman from TheWritersGroup said that we should include more close up shots. This is as it can help show the facial expressions of the characters when shown up close in comparison to a group shot.

3. What are the relevant changes that need to be made to the script?

TheWritersGroup also gave me feedback on what to change within my script. One example was to use a more varying range of shot types. Especially during parts where there is a large amount of action. This was because at the time there was only a limited range consisting of close ups and wide shots. This being due to it being from arms length, such as when Georgia is filming herself talking. A more varying range of shot types can help the narrative as it can show more of the story from different angles. I will be changing this within the script by having the character Will, be more adaptable with his movement. This is as he is constantly filming from the back which is generally being a wide shot. However I will have him filming himself, and different distances from the characters in front of him. In addition, TheWritersGroup also said that I should change the amount of parenthetical within the script. In places where more tension is needed such as when we see Elle hanging from the ceiling. I should include more examples of parenthetical for the characters dialogue. Using more if this can help the actors understand how they will need to act. Influencing their body language, speech and expressions.

4. Is the content of the product correct?

The language we used within the script is clear and organised. We used a informal style of language for the dialogue. The mode of address would be peer to peer as it is friends talking to each other. We can see this from our script, for example "Well that's shit", this wouldn't be how you would talk if the mode of address was teacher-pupil and more formal.This is to help fit the target audience and the age of the characters, as they are young. For example we used slang and other types of informal speech which younger audiences would understand better than an older. We made the script spaced out and with each different type of direction/dialogue in a different area. For example any stage directions were on the left and dialogue was justified to the middle. This was to help fit the stereotypical house style of most scripts. This organised text can help the actors distinguish between their speech and directions, so they can easily understand how to act the scene. The script is written in a Courier new font in a size twelve just like any other professional script, fitting in with the conventions of scripts. The mode of address we used in this script was peer to peer. For example 'With my man, James…', which shows how normal teenagers communicate. This was due to the narrative of it being friends casually speaking to each other in informal style. The script includes: stage directions and information for the characters, justified to the left; Dialogue and speech justified to the middle and camera information, including shot types, editing information and angle, justified to the right.

5. Does it meet legal and ethical requirements?

We rated our film as an 18. Due to one of the factors of the BBFC 18 classification being "Where material or treatment appears to risk or harm individuals" Such as violent of dangerous acts. Our film as a whole depicts this as one by one the characters disappear and conclusively die. We also have on part in the script which shows someone being hung which can go against what people think is right. Therefore we believe that an 18 year old is most likely able to determine whether they want to watch the film. Additionally our script shows language and content that would deem it inappropriate for viewing before the watershed. For example there is a large use of swear words and material showing a harmful nature towards humans. Within our film we include non diegetic sound. This music will be incidental to help build up tension. Therefore we must source these sounds/music and gain copyright permission from the owner. In order to do this we must either email/write to them and get written consent that we are allowed to use it. A fee may be made if the copyright owner see's fit. In terms of graphics on screen, they will all be made by ourselves or another member within the short film team. This would then need less copyright permissions as it is created directly for the film. If we were not to gain permission, we could then be faced with a fine/legal action against us from the copyright owner. Our film may also be looked down at by other short film makers and the industry. We will be filming on public property, therefore we don't have to require any permission to film there. Additionally we have looked at creative commons sites for soundtracks which would be royalty free, meaning we won't need to pay for the use of it or ask for permission. The song that we found is titled 'Growing Shadows' by a Soundcloud user called myuu. It is licensed under the Creative Commons License giving us free roam to use the song in our short film.